daffodils, saints, & ghosts

lately i've had some nice adventures. my friend elaine is obsessed with ghost towns, and has a rather outdated (1978) guide to those in ut (i say this because my own town spring city is in there and it is anything but a ghost town these days). about two weeks ago we drove to the other side of ut lake in search of one. . .to no avail. but it was a pretty drive, and we had fun. then today we went in search of some in the west desert, the first two were a bust, but the third was a jackpot. ophir. we fell in love. it was a charming little row of buildings up a lovely little canyon, and there were some cool mines we explored.

at the beginning of this week pack and i went to st. george for a few days. i had to present at the urpa (utah recreation and parks) annual convention, and pack's parents have a condo down there. we enjoyed the 70+ weather, watched cable, took nice walks, explored cute antique/quilting/thrift shops (i found some great skirts, and some cool plates), and enjoyed each others company. pack is one of my most favorite people ever.

in general i am so happy spring is finally looking like it might just stick around. easter was nice and mellow at home with the rents in spring city.this is a view looking towards vernon out in the west desert. this is the area settled by the bennions back in my great great grandpa isreal's time. my grandparents lived out here for a short time in a one room cabin with no water or electricity, and my dad spent all his summers out here. it feels like home.

st. momma's birthday day

today is my super mom's birthday!!! woo hoo! my mom is hands down the best. a sampling of some things i love about her:
1. shes a rock, calm, collected, graceful, solid, true.
2. she always has good ideas for what i can do with my life
3. she is very generous and service oriented . . . she is charity
4. she's really fun to spend time with horse back riding, running errands, cooking, sitting, anytime.
5. she makes the best pies ever
6. she will always be taller than me so i can always rest my head on her shoulder
i love you mom! happy birthday!

snow flurries and small thoughts

yesterday the sky was spitting snow at me as i rode to school, but it's ok. that's spring. that's march. temperamental, jealous winter still trying to assert her power over gentle amiable spring. the lamb and the lion. a couple of things:
1. last friday davey and i enjoyed the delicious early spring evening by strolling about downtown provo in their monthly first friday of the month gallery stroll. it was super! we started out at mode botique where ruel brown was showing off his awesome monsters, collages, wall drawings, and dapper white jacket. it was so great! our favorite for sure. then we hit coal umbrella, metropolitan hair salon, the flower basket boutique, terra nova gallery and then gallery 110. we topped the evening off with one more stop at mode to bid on our favorite pieces, and lovely raquel snapped this pic of us with allan. it was such a great evening. everyone should do it every month!
2. i have a trashy side. and that trashy side loves some gross things. like corn dogs. i love corn dogs. mmm mmm good. but i've been a mostly vegetarian for the last year and a half, so i gave up my guilty pleasure of breaded meat on a stick. until my friend elaine told me about veggie corn dogs. so i bought some, and last night tried one, and i am totally sold! viva la guilty pleasure! with a slightly more safe/moral/healthy twist!
3. last night we had a frenchie themed movie night. we watched 'paris, je t'aime' and 'la vie en rose'. i liked both of them very very much, though both left my heart aching a bit because of the sadness and beauty of life. the unfair, and unnecessary pain some endure, but the beauty they are still able to find/create/enjoy. sigh. (this is a pic from one of my favorite short in 'paris. . ').
4. i have been doing quite a lot of job/home hunting lately. i'm trying to figure out what to do with my life, from where to move in the fall, to what to do. i'll admit to feeling a little overwhelmed. there is the desire to just cross some ocean and work abroad teaching or doing humanitarian work. . . but i love to be close to my parents and friends here in utah. and then i feel i'm not sure what kind of job i'm qualified for with my hodge podge background in visual arts, literature, recreation management, library work, summer camp work, basic gardening, etc. i love working with people, especially teens, i love teaching, i love being outside, i love being creative, and i love not sitting at a desk all day. i suppose my parents lifestyle has left a permanent standard of living on my mind. so, i am taking ANY and all suggestions as to where to move to (salt lake and seattle are being considered right now), and what i could do for work. please?
5. i found another AMAZING show i want to see in ny in april. . . this one by cai guo-qiang, a chinese installation artist, at the guggenheim. it looks so incredible. i can't wait.6. last but not least CUTE CUTE CUTE!!! spring = babies. and cute ones at that. one time our neighbors were asked to raise a fawn whose mother had been killed. his name was erik. he would totter around the neighborhood and come over for loves. he was so spotty and silky and softy and sweet.

il sole bo bole

woohoo its sunny sunny gorgeous outside!!! yeah! some good things:
1. yesterday i finally bought a book of mary oliver poetry for ME i've bought so many of hers and given them away but this one is mine all mine
2. i got my peru sunglasses fixed at lund's optical and mr. lund was so nice and gave me a chamois cloth to clean them with and showed me some cool optical allusions. i love local businesses.
3. today i wore my patent leather yellow shoes.
4. the other night i watched "the refugee allstars" about these wonderful inspiring musicians from sierra leon.
5. i have been embroidering.
6. I had a dream the other night that i lived and worked on a tall ship (and i had curly hair) and then it was discovered i was the daughter of the raddest pirate couple ever and i was a pirate princess, and we were nice pirates.
7. this pic from the break dance birthday i threw for my roomie lindsey last week replete with professional bboy kyle who taught us some sweet moves.

love/hate

here are some things that i love latley:
-the SUN!!! hooray for spring being on its way
-netflix with its scores of period dramas and documentaries
-daddy daughter dates
-being a part of obama raising $55 million in Feb. with over 90% of that coming from donations under $100. . no money from lobbyist or PAC's!!!
-mango sorbet
-watching reuben watch his bird dvd
-orange nail polish
-new shoes made from african fabric
-this painting (and the fact that i'll get to see it at the met in april)and then some things i hate:
-byusa elections. ugh. stop harassing me on campus.
-that my cool shades from peru broke
-that my pants are tight
-the wrinkle furrows in my brow seem to have become permanent. sigh.
thats all. xoxo.

worldess tuesday (i couldn't wait till wednesday!)

(props to christopher and lauren for sending this my way!!! sooooooo cute!!!)

packattack BIRTHDAY!!!

today is THIS pretty girl's birthday! happy quarter of a century packi! now you can consider yourself a menace to society!! welcome to the club!!! love you lots! here is a song dedication "pack attack pack pack attack, p-a-a-c-k-a-t-t-a-c-k! xoxo

springtime can kill you

or so says jolie holland. i changed my blog because it was so wintery it made me depressed everytime i looked at it. probably made you depressed too. sorry. there have been hints and promises of spring in the air lately, and sun shining enough to make me risk sandals and bare legs yesterday. i really am looking forward to spring, its been a long winter, lovely with all the snow, but i'm ready for warm. change. flowers. GREEN. yum. some good things as of late: 1. saw step up 2: the streets. seriously go see it. the first one was lame. this one AMAZING dancing. loved it. 2. have been eating lots of salad 3. have made some small progress on my thesis 4. am sleeping in my delicious 600 thread count cotton sheets now instead of flannal. sigh. p.s. that is a pic of my darling sister and i dancing at my best friend's wedding last fall in vermont. i think we should have dance parties all the time.

cruz del happy birthday bingo

happy birthday davey boy! se llama my favorite! lets hope 27 is as cool as 26. duh.

not so bleak afterall

i really like dickens, well that is later dickens. bleak house is one of my favorites. i also really love masterpiece theater because growing up without t.v. this was one of the few shows i remember from my grandparents house. so when i finally got netflix last month one of the first things i put on my queue is the bbc/masterpiece theater adaption of bleak house made in 2005. it was totally great. there were five episodes per disk (three disks) and with each disk i never had the self control to not watch all five in one sitting. it was just too wonderful. lady dedlock is played by gillian anderson of xfiles fame. she is lots prettier and more awesome in this. it was the perfect late winter activity. sigh. i wish i could watch it all over again.

i'm in love

i have always been a faithful lover to mint ice cream. of course i try lots of others, but when it comes down to it i almost always go back to any variety of mints. but last night i found a new lover, an ice cream that incorporates three of my most favorite cooking ingredients and flavors in the world . . . haagan dazs special reserve toasted coconut sesame brittle ice cream. holy moley. this stuff blew my world. creamy coconut ice cream, delicious toasted sesame yummy crunchy brittle, and infused throughout a hint of ginger. . . sigh. so good. sooooo good.

happy valentines.

i like valentines. i always have. i usually make homemade ones for all my friends. but i didn't this year. sorry everyone. but here is a little video i really like from a website i really like but that usually makes me depressed.

5 years, 100 posts.

today marks two significant events. one is five years ago today i returned from serving my mission in utica new york. sigh. i can't believe its been five years, although it does seem like an eternity ago. i will be forever grateful for those wonderful and sweet 18 months of my life where i was able to wholly dedicate myself to the Lord. i learned so many valuable things, met so many amazing people, and felt such a continual stream of love. this photo was taken about half way through my mission, and my companion there is sister kee and today is her birthday so happy birthday sister kee! the second and much less important event of today is that this is my 100th post on my blog. i'm not sure if that makes me feel really lame, or cool, or nothing at all. but i enjoy hearing from you all as i post my little tiddlywinks in the universe.

where has this been all my life?

cat armor. why didn't I think of this sooner. if i'm going to have a hairless cat, i should at least have the decency to give him some sort of protection from the elements, and neighboring cats. . .though he does have some pretty sweet battle scars. . . i showed this to reuben and now he won't stop meowing that he wants it.

DO IT!!!

bagtagbagtabgatgabgtb. . .

so, cute sami tagged me with this bag tag. the rules are:
1. Show a picture of your bag
2. Show a picture of ALL the contents of your bag- no cleaning out first!
3. "Bag Tag" 5 people
man all this tag is making me tired.I bought this bag at a little store in Lima Peru this summer, I was the woman's first credit card purchase. She buys antique Cusqueno fabrics and then designs and makes the bags herself. I love the stripey stripes!
Contents:

• the text book i'm teaching from this semester, stuffed with the class roll so I can try to memorize all 52 students names. . .
  
• notebook from italy which is my current scripture journal, i'm trying to do all the sunday school reading ahead of time. . hence the BoM cute mini size!
• my pride and joy moleskin day planner/journal, these are divine
• keys
• wallet, checks, loose change
• leatherman pocket knife/tool. . .you never know. . .
  
• phone
• flash drive
• lip glosses
• antique pill case from my grama. . .stuffed with ibuprofen
• grading/scripture marking pens
  
• mini tub of mom's stuff. . .miracle cure all from my mommio
• trash, not bag is complete without it, you never know when you'll need a scrap of paper
• I tag pack, mary, ashleigh (she has the CUTEST red bag), hailey, davey (do your cusco bag!)
  

happy happy birthday sister friend

today my little sister adah is turning 20!!! i can hardly believe it. i remember the day she was born with her shock of red hair and rosy cheeks. adah is a remarkable person, she is beautiful, talented, artistic, every so kind, sincere, hard-working, hilarious, brave, authentic, sensitive, strong and good. i love her a million times over, she'll always be my favorite little sister. happy birthday spud! xoxo

tree burning and walking on water

so we let our christmas tree sit for way too long. i got in un-decorated when i came back from break, but its been sitting naked and almost camouflaged against the green wall in our living room since then. it was well past the respectable time to nonchalantly drop it on the side of the curb (what would the neighbors think!?!) so i decided to do what you do with all things you don't know what to do with. . .BURN IT!!! (thank you grand canyon river trips for teaching me that). so on sunday evening a host of friends gathered and we dragged our dear tree and other burnable objects out on the frozen tundra of utah lake where we had the most delightful (though slow to start) bonfire replete with the burning of our regrets from last year and hopes for this year, the explosion of an aerosol can, a marriage proposal (with acceptance, congrats e&e), hot cocoa on the pocket rocket camping stove, and general merriment. hooray for burning! hooray for friends! hooray for frozen lake!!!

haircut!!!

so i got it cut. sorry i didn't have the guts to go with the cate, maybe in the summer? i went more ashley olsen (so weird). really it was a very nice trim with lots of great new layers. ashleigh is a snip snip genius hairdresser on fire. woohoo!

mercredi sans paroles

last night i dreamt i was speaking french. and also I dreamt that I was stading in front of this house (our former home) with my parents and there were 13 rainbows in the sky. it was a most magnificent sight, they were all full and vibrant and overlapping eachother, i felt like i could almost touch them. and then i realized that it wasn't our house anymore. but we went in to visit the new family, and i was relieved they hadn't changed it too much. and i had to show the new mother how to properly stoke the wood stove. and when were were leaving i couldn't find my shoes anywhere (which shoes weren't mine to begin with and were far too big for my feet) so I left barefoot. too bad i don't know a thing about dream interpretation. and i don't know why i call this a wordless wednesday when obviously i've got lots of words. hmm. dreams.

haircut

so I'm going to get a haircut next week from my awesome friend and I am trying to figure out how I want it. right now it is just sort of longish, with grown out layerish things. its good, but just needs some life. in order to see what I wanted i went to this most ridiculous/awesome site: the hollywood hair virtual makeover on the instyle website, that my roommate showed me. pretty much you upload a pic of yourself and try on any celebs hair. here are four options a) cate blanchett b) ashley olsen c) katie holmes and d) mandy moore. maybe I'll cute my hair the style that gets the most votes! and that is not my real hair color, but it was the closest I could find. its sort of ashy and gross.

tagtagtagtagtag

remember freeze tag? or music tag? man, tag is such a great game.

8 things I'm passionate about
1. the gospel
2. nature/being outside
3. service/being kind
4. community
5. growing/cooking food and feeding people
6. art in lots of forms both creating and viewing/reading
7. loving and serving my family and friends
8. progression

8 things I want to do before I die
1. have a family
2. sail around the world for a year preferably when my children are in their early teens
3. build my own home/community
4. read the old testament ALL the way through in order
5. become really good at making bread, and maybe even grow my own wheat
6. serve wherever i am
7. be self-sufficient
8. spend time in africa

8 books I have read recently
1. the history of love
2. blankets
3. christ and the new covenant
4. the time of the butterflies
5. love in the time of cholera
6. koko's kitten (and I cried and cried)
7. as you like it
8. currently: the idiot

8 things I often say
1. H
2. meow
3. roobie boobie skins/ kittah kittah/cute face
4. are/were they smoking crack rock?
5. i love you
6. hieee/byeeee
7. oh man
8. si senor

8 things that attract me to friends
1. kindness
2. sincerity
3. sense of humour
4. ability to engage in meaningful/real conversations about important things
5. interests and passions
6. integrity
7. adventuresomness/sense of wonder about the world/creativity
8. the way they treat their family

8 songs and albums I could listen to over and over
1. rabbit songs- hem
2. i found a reason- cat power
3. i feel it all- feist
4. psalm 23- choir of christ church cathedral
5. vashti bunyan
6. since i still tell you my everyday- innocence mission
7. dig me a hole- dawn landes
8. romeo and juliet (the ballet score)- prokofiev

8 things I learned this year
1. live in faith not fear
2. be true to your heart/gut even when its really hard and goes against reason
3. always react in kindness
4. the lord really is watching over us in the details
5. you can't give when you are emotionally depleted
6. you are still useful even when you think you aren't
7. things are always scarier in your mind then they are in real life
8. cheap winds up being expensive

8 Random things about me
1. i have dimples in both shoulders
2. my favorite jelly belly flavor is pop corn
3. sometimes i wish i had more siblings
4. i love snail mail
5. i used to purposefully get out in the spelling bee because i hate competitions
6. i've had 5 seizures in my life and have passed out a number of times
7. i've never died my hair
8. i used to stage and perform long informercials in the bathroom as a kid, no one watching but me in the mirror

8 People I tag
1. pack (cause it means she'll have to start a blog)
2. camille
3. kelly
4. andi (cause we're blog friends)
5. heather sanders
6. ash sanders
7. bardhi (yeah right)
8. dainon

almost wordless iowa wednesday

today is a big day.

house

So tomorrow my parents and I will finally take the very very last load of our belongings out of the house that has been our home my entire life. On the one hand I can't wait to be done as this has been a butt buster project, but I think it will also be pretty sad. Its so weird walking into our home and have it be so empty. . . trying to imagine another family's possessions populating it in a week or so. It was strange the other day to drive into town and have to turn a few streets early to get to my parents new home. I am however very very happy a family is moving in, and hope that our dear house will be as loving and nuturing a home for them as it has been for us. On the last day that we were all home together in early December my dad hired a photographer to come and take pictures of we Bennion's in our natural habitat. While is was super awkward in the moment, I'm glad we have them. I'll miss our old house, but am glad that I still have a home in Spring City.

the creep

So the packing continues this lovely Christmas day. . . and so does the discovery of old childhood treasures. When we were little our mommio would make us little simple bound books that we would then draw in and make up stories. We would then narrate the story to mom and she would write on each page what was happening in our drawings. These pages come from a little book that I'm guessing is circa 3-4 years old for me. Apparently I was clearly aware of the male anatomy (my parents always had us use proper names rather than silly nicknames), and apparently even at that young age I understood that guys could be creeps.

Santa Baby

So for those who don't know, my parents sold our home, the only home I've known these past 28 years. But its ok. It's time for them to downsize and build a small energy efficient house. I'm excited for them. As a result, Christmas this year equals packing. And here's a true confession. .. I actually really like sorting, throwing out, packing, cleaning. . . so I guess its good I'm the daughter that still lives close to home. The best part is all the treasures you find. . . like the lock of my mom's golden hair from when she was five and got gum in her hair, to the sweet letter President Kimball wrote to my grandparents, and the best of them all so far. . . (drum roll) was finding my old letters to Santa. Now, let it be known I was and still am, a very trusting/believing person. I held onto the belief in Santa, despite my older sisters best efforts to dissuade, as long as possible. It was only when in third grade and I actually found the stash of my letters in my mom's drawer that I finally threw in the towel. But man, oh man did I write some killer letters. The following are two gems, and then a follow up letter in which I actually ask Santa to be my pen-pal (I was WAY in to pen-pals). Also note my horrible spelling, and the fact that I want a pound purry TWO years in a row . . . which I finally did get. So Merry Christmas all, may we rekindle our childhood belief in a fat man in a red suit who brings us our dreams in a bag. P.S. how awesome is it that I asked for a ghetto blaster? How the crap did I even know what that was? I grew up with no t.v. in a rural farming community???!!!

!!!

I've been a lazy poster, so I think I'll do a bulleted list of whats new in my life:

• my roommates and I just got accepted into the Moab half-marathon!!! this means lots of running for me, some new shoes, and no white flour or sugar.
  
• I am reading "The Idiot" and really liking it. Also read "The History of Love" recently which I LOVED.
  
• Reuben got a sweater and looks real cute in it
• My parents sold our home. . . sad, but good. Looks like Christmas = packing for me.
  
• I had a dream recently about tiny horses that could fly that would nuzzle my nose, I can't stop wishing I really had one.
  
• My sisters were home last week. . . I sure love them.
  
• Hot water bottles are my salvation.
  
• I have been watching "The Long Way Round" this awesome british t.v. show about Ewan McGregor and his best mate Charlie riding round the world on motorcycles. . . sigh. How I wish I were doing that right now.
  
• It's really nice to be in the position of giving and grading final exams rather than taking them.
  

Well, that's pretty much it. Pretty boring, but pretty great. xoxox, zina

look ma, no words!

I know this is nerdy

But I don't really care. In about a week the film version of Philip Pullman's The Golden Compass comes out. I read the books two Christmases ago, and thoroughly enjoyed them. I know there is some controversy amongst the christian world thinking these books are anti-god. I don't care to get into all that, they are based on Paradise Lost and Blake's poetry both of which I love and if they are anti-god so be it. One of my favorite things in these books are that each character has a daemon, which is essentially your soul, that is outside the body and personified in an animal form. Reading the books made me REALLY want a daemon. .. . like the imaginary friend I never had. So when my friend told me about the online quiz where you can find out what your daemon is I was all over it. While a butterfly is not the animal I'd have chosen, I think the description of my personality is surprisingly accurate. I don't know what it means that in the last week I've got two posts with online personality quizzes. .. maybe I'm doing some subconscious soul searching? Anyway, here it is. (p.s. that is a butterfly on my fingers at Foz do Iguacu in Brazil)
BUTTERFLY - Your daemon may be a butterfly. It is ironic that the butterfly traditionally represents the psyche, yet it is one of the least emotive physical forms that your daemon can take. It is very hard to tell what a butterfly is feeling, and perhaps that is why you feel so comfortable with this form. You have many, many friends and a beautiful soul, but you don't like to reveal what your innermost feelings are. You aren't afraid to be yourself - you are vibrant and colourful. But at the same time, you don't like to wear your heart on your sleeve. Take this quiz!

this is what i want

. . .

i can't believe it's almost december. it's almost 2008. i think 2007 is seriously the fastest year of my life. i know people say stuff like that all the time. but really. not joking. there is something eerie about it, like 'hey universe, give me my freaking year back!'. duh.

thankful

I woke up this morning around 5:30 because I was having a dream that I needed to throw up, I realized once semi-cognizant that this was not simply a dream, but a reality. Then ensued about six hours of not so pleasant stomach flu, the likes of which I've not experienced since childhood. And while that aspect of the day was most unpleasant, it has been a little blessing in disguise in that it allowed me a full day of sleeping, reading, cuddling with my cat, and watching Amelie. I was able to read the entire graphic novel "Blankets" by Craig Thompson which I really liked immensely. I also made a mix cd for a friend, and contemplated gratitude on this eve of Thanksgiving. So here is my 2007 partial gratitude list (partial in that it is only a fraction of the things I am grateful for, really stream of consciousness):
-a safe beautiful home with lovely green walls, splendid roommates, and the comfiest bed in the world
-my parents and sisters
-my delicious bike
-my passport and the stamps it acquired this year
-dear friends across the globe
-dear friends who bring me gatorade, sprite and jamba juice when I'm sick
-my little cat
-free wood and a wood stove
-scrabulous
-hard work
-coca tea
-wool felt hats
-the gospel
-making collages
-forgiveness
-a pretty green bracelet
-hiking
-the ranch
-the smell of rain, and woodsmoke
-airplanes
-the best cookie recipe in the world
-hope/faith
-great books/films/music/art

i knew it!!!

This summer at the ranch we had a conversation where we had to decide which character out of all of literature we would be and why. After much thought and consideration it dawned on me that I am totally Elinor from Sense & Sensibility! so I guess its no surprise when I took this quiz and it told me the exact same thing. (can you tell I am procrastinating today? ugh. Elinor would never do that. . . maybe I'm not so like her).

Take the Quiz here!

You are Elinor Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility! You are practical, circumspect, and discreet. Though you are tremendously sensible and allow your head to rule, you have a deep, emotional side that few people often see.

love

I'll admit, I am to some extent a hopeless romantic. while years of being a single gal have taught me to be rational and logical about things, I have somehow maintained the seed of hope that true love does happen every now and again and maybe someday it'll happen to me. this papercut by mister rob ryan makes me believe. so does the danish poet. watch it.