owl and fishies and friends

thank goodness for wilderness and good peeps. this last week i spent three lovely days in the desert backpacking with friends and it was just what the doctor ordered. grant, chris, annalisa and i went down to the gorgeous cedar mesa area, and hiked down owl canyon, and out fish creek. we spent a day exploring another branch of fish, searching for moon house ruin, but where deterred by a pour off. the canyons were a little more narrow and deep than grand gulch (which i'd done several times before) and more beautiful. lots of deep pools and water, hoodoos in the slickrock, amazing ruins hiding in the cliffs, and all around wonderfulness. we ate good food, talked good talks, got a little cold, soaked in beauty and breathed in good air. it also was a good first of the season blister and sore muscle break in, got to get my feet ready for a summer of outdoors. i love love love being outdoors, carrying what i need on my back, living like a nomad. its a good and necessary change of pace. sometime i'd like to live like that for a whole summer. or year. or decade.

the most important happy birthday!

today is a special special day. and no its not because of leprechauns or four leaf clover or lots of beer. today is special because its my dear wonderful mother's birthday. my mom is the soul of patience, humility, endless service and constant love. she has always been a great source of strength to me, but especially these last few months just by being who she is. i admire her hard work, her dedication to the things, people, animals and places she loves. i am grateful for her constant and quiet faith. i love her so much and am so grateful i was born to her. xoxo

let's get out of the country

it seems that every two years my chronic case of wanderlust flares up so bad that i find myself compulsively buying a ticket to some far off destination usually on a fairly spontaneous whim. four years ago it was norway and brazil. two years ago peru. and this year . . . costa rica. i was visiting with my good friends english and kelly and saying how i realized the other day that if i don't take a little vacation before the ranch starts i'll have spent an entire year living there by the end of the summer and how that was making me feel stir crazy. i told them i was thinking of taking a little trip (having listened to an npr report that day on how cheap airfare is right now) and they started lobbying for costa rica (they spent three weeks there last year and LOVED it). i started looking into it and with cloud forests, volcanoes, gorgeous beaches, tons of wildlife and unlimited hiking i was a pretty quick convert. i checked delta and found i have enough flyer miles to get me there and back for free and called my dear friend/travel partner camille and made short work on convincing her we both need two weeks out of the usa to preserve our sanity. the tickets aren't quite bought yet, but will be soon and i am so happy to have something to look forward to and day dream about. i feel it in my bones that this will be good. so, for any of you who've spent time there, let me know your favorite spots. woo woo!

belated birthday

tuesday was the birthday of lindsey pack attack a doodle. i'm so sorry i didn't post this then, but i still wanted to give a shout out to one of my favoritest people in the WOLRD. pack is the most delightful combination of bright, enthusiastic, fun loving, hell-raising, mischief making, deep talking, good listening, kind acting, love giving, and gorgeous being ever. i love her so so much and am so grateful that she put up with living with me for two years, and still continues to be a tried and true friend. pack is one of the most genuine, down to earth people i know and she cares deeply about how she treats other people. happy late birthday packi!!!! xoxo

spring cleaning

don't worry about me! today is much better. true, my life has been a little on the rough side lately, but in a way, i'm grateful for that. it's given me some opportunities to really dig in and do the work of reclaiming myself and improving (and oh man is there ever room for that!) in a way its perfect spring cleaning time. last night i did a lot of that. i came home from work (i'm working as a painter, not an artsy one) and did a two hour scour on the kitchen, including the fridge (seriously scary). i scrubbed and sanitzed, threw out and listened to 'this american life' and 'radiolab'. it was therepeutic. and then chris and i watched 'all about my mother' (sorry davey!) which, like all almondovar films was AMAZING. seriously. he is a genius. chris and i sat in almost stunned silence afterward, but slowly the deep issues of the film gave genesis for a long and emotional talk about a lot of issues/experiences/views we share. it was a good scrubbing, sanitizing, throwing out discussion. it was a tender mercy. i went to bed feeling much more calm, cried a little in a good way, and fell asleep. i love this life of trial and error, learning from those around us, and doing our best to love. there's really nothing else we can do, right? (and i can't wait to scrub the floor this weekend!)

some days. . .

i feel like this. today at lunch chris and i discussed just how hard/amazing it is to be alive sometimes, and to be a grown up. but i keep kicking my feet, and taking those gasps of air because i know it will get better. and i have a LOT to be grateful for.