Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Soulmate

A few weeks ago my roommate Ash had her horoscope read. Like the full deal, we're talking 13 pages of detailed information and personality descriptions. Despite our skeptical approach to it, the document proved to be more dead on than any of us were really comfortable admitting and even caused me to ask my mom what time I was born at in hopes of having my own done. I haven't, I've been too busy/lazy. One morning while Ash was giving her chart a more thorough perusal, she came across a link to a webpage that would tell her the name of her soulmate based on her zodiac information! This was the invite of the ages and before she knew what was good for her she was whizzing through series of questions and sign-ups in order to have her love's name texted to her. Sadly, her stars weren't quite lined up, because all they told her is that his eyes will be blue, green, or brown, he will be an aquarius, virgo, or scoripio, and his name will start with X, P, R, V, S, E, or T. Not too specific. She was crushed.
Fast forward to today, I'm in bed, procrastinating as usual, and I run across a quiz on my friends blog to tell you what kind of Christmas ornament you are. Yup. I'm avoiding my paper so much that I debase myself and go to the page. But, to my ecstatic surprise, there in bold letters, is a link stating GET THE NAME OF YOUR SOULMATE. I didn't need any prompting. It was easy. I just entered my sex, first name, zodiac sign and phone number. In less than a minute I got this text:
Your calculated match is Sean. Together, the two of you will be fruitful whether you are creating a family, a business, or an artistic enterprise.
So there you have it folks. I know who my soulmate is. Pretty lucky day I'd say. Merry Christmas early.

15 comments:

Daddy Boy said...

You need to remeber that in Utah this guy could be named Shawn.

ZLB said...

Nope, this ensures that I'll marry a foreigner!

Rhapsidiomite said...

Oh my freakin' ha.

kel said...

hey, you might think that's a bunch o' crackpot talk but let me tell you something: back in 11th grade my entire high school filled out bubble sheets to see who we were most compabale with in the school (oh and also to raise money for FBLA - results were a dollar). English was second on the list! the first guy was... well, not right. so scoff not - those things are real.

eped said...

hey that's great. listen, I know some Seans so just let me know, k?

Dainon said...

Well, no other Zinas exist in the world, do they? If anybody was told they were gonna marry one, I'm pretty sure it'd mean you.

I just confused myself.

Sir Sean said...

Why thatsh ridiculoush. I am far too old and famoush to be your shoulmate!

different sean said...

I took that test too, and the result was "Zina".

T.R. said...

computers are so smart these days!

ZLB said...

well "different Sean" sounds like a sealed deal. Thank goodness for the internet. That made finding my soulmate so easy. Set a date and time and I'll show up dressed in white.

different sean said...

I usually go to "wizards and dreams" comic book store on wednesdays during lunch. see you there?

A third guy named sean said...

What a nerd! Zina, your horoscope was clearly referring to me.

ZLB said...

seans seans seans, please, you can duel for my love in front of the provo bakery, tomorrow at high noon, using only limp broccoli spears. thank you. the management.

Younger, less famous Sean said...

I'm a lover (of Zina), not a fighter (of Seans).

kel said...

Zina... what are you going to do? all of these Seans! you better ask for ID before anything serious. i heard about this thing called idenity fraud on 20/20 and this sound pretty suspicious. the true Sean probably wouldn't comment on your blog to contact you. he'd probably pretend to bump into you at the grocery store. that's more real.